Lately, I have been overly concerned with the amount of excess skin and flab that I have and will probably continue to have for a while. I read an article that suggested weight lifting as a viable option to combat some of the adverse effects of weight loss. My first thought was: I am not a bodybuilder nor do I want to be. It doesn't have to be that extreme though. I would love to have the beautiful muscles that I had as a teenager. I was buff and I will be again even if that takes having surgery. If I can do that by lifting some heavy weights - Let's do it! So when I get back from my mini-vacation, I am going to start the Strong Lift 5x5 program. It's simple, straightforward and doesn't require any special skill. Anything I can do to reduce my need for surgery I am willing to do. I even ordered a body fat tester today so I can know what impact this is having. I'm sure I will see it in my clothes too.
Speaking of clothes - I remember saying there is no way I will ever be under a size 10 or 12 because of my bone structure. I was wrong. I am in a very loose 14 right now and could go to a size 12 depending on the brand. I still have 60 pounds to go. Imagine what size I'll be in then! Not complaining mind you! It's just interesting how you can live with an idea in your head for so long that you think it's fact. I suppose when I was a size 28 the dream of even a 10/12 seemed unattainable. Nothing is impossible! You just have to do make it happen. Whatever that takes.
I am Perfect.
Perfectly imperfect, that is.
I use the word “ perfect ” a lot, and oftentimes had people remind me that nothing is perfect. I totally disagree. I believe that everyone and every thing is perfect and beautiful in its imperfect state of being. Think about that for one second – imagine that just maybe your imperfections actually make you perfect. Don’t you just love the freedom that thought gives you? Well, time to realize the reality of the thought and let go of our self-judgments and negative self-talk. It’s time to embrace our imperfections.
Now I’m not saying to throw caution to the wind and go indulge in a gallon of super chunky triple chocolate fudgy goo. I’m saying that it’s okay to mess up, and it’s okay to have faults. For those of you that don’t, I’m sorry. These faults, trials, imperfections and stumbles are our some of our greatest blessings – they’re our ‘springboards’ to becoming the strongest person we can possibly be!
So why do we so often find ourselves ‘masking up’ for the day before we go out in public? Why do we all feel the need to pretend to be something we are not? Why are we so scared of who we really are? Every time we put on that mask we feel beautiful and invincible. We put on a show of perfection for our friends, family, co-workers, and acquaintances…everyone. We’re not true to them, but most importantly we are not true to ourselves. We are a fraud.
Ever feel that way? I sure have, and I still find myself there at times. I have to remind myself of a lesson I learned from my late father: true beauty comes from being honest and authentic.
You’re scared. I hear you. It’s not easy to peek out from behind that mask and share our difficulties and challenges with the world. But trust me, it’s worth it! The freedom that comes with being vulnerable, open, and real is unlike anything else. It’s the most liberating thing I’ve ever experienced, and without a doubt it has become one of the most powerful tools in my arsenal.
“Heidi, this is easy for you to say. You don’t have imperfections like I do.” FALSE! The camera is deceiving and shallow.
Behold, a Top 10 list of only some of my many imperfections:
- I have bunions.
- My nostrils flare to the size of a nickel when I laugh (those of you who know me know EXACTLY what I’m talking about!)
- My hair might be beautiful…but only because I clip in extensions (and that’s not the only enhanced part of me).
- I am a control freak (I’m working on it – so darn hard though, and not sure I’m making much improvement).
- I have food issues too.
- One of my eyes is lazy when I smile and I am SO self-conscious about it.
- Chris is my soul mate and best friend, and so often we post pictures of when things are fun and rosy, but we, like every other couple, have challenges and differences that we’re always working on.
- I am tempted 99.9% of the time to cheat during my workouts.
- No matter how hard I work on my abs, I will always have a belly button that could be mistaken for a nose.
- I don’t wake up looking camera-ready. Thank goodness for hair and makeup artists!
So, how do you find this place of peace with yourself as you are?
Rule 62 – DON’T TAKE YOURSELF SO DAMN SERIOUSLY (thanks again, Dad).
Don’t be scared or embarrassed. You’re in a safe place and it’s time for a heart to heart conversation with the most important person in your life – YOU! Dig deep and allow yourself to see those imperfections. Try seeing the beauty in your flaws (yes, that bump on your nose makes you YOU!). Realize the lessons and strength that your imperfections have given you. And most importantly, don’t worry about what other people think. One of my favorite sayings is, “Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”
Now go be your perfectly imperfect self :-).