FACE OFF

So, I was going through old pictures today.  I found this one from college and decided to do a face off.

September 2002 to March 2014

Just a little bit of a difference I would say :)  About 95 pounds worth.  Another 70ish to go!

Sodium Situation

I remember when my mom first started with My Fitness Pal and told me about sodium.  I said Ahh- don't worry about that.  My tracker didn't track that so it didn't exist in my head already spinning with the multitude of other things I needed to worry about when it came to my diet.  Well...now it has come to my attention since I have started using MFP exclusively.  I am often WAY over my sodium allowance for the day.  And by WAY I mean double or triple.  Free days of course are the highest (6000) and high carb days are around 4000.  I tracked it for the last week and those meals were pretty indicative of how I eat.  So this week, I am making it my mission to be under the 2,300 grams of sodium that is recommended.

This is NOT easy to do.  I thought I was eating clean before.  I found out I am NOT.  To reduce the sodium content you basically have to eat NOTHING processed including meat.  Dairy products  - yikes!  This is what surprised me most of all.  It shouldn't as logically I realize they are processed but I just didn't expect it.  Cheese, cottage cheese... high!

I went to the grocery store to grab something for lunch.  It took FOREVER.  After quite a look around I finally went with some Natural Choice Oven Roasted Chicken Breast which was the highest part of my meal.  I got some lettuce, grape tomatoes and swiss cheese as it was the best option.  Dressing.  DRESSING!  You wouldn't believe how hard it was to find dressing that didn't have 300 grams of sodium.  I finally found a generic honey mustard that had 140.  That was half of most everything else.  Without having a means to cook anything, that was the only option I had for lunch.  I looked at lunch meat and it was over 500 a serving.  I never would have thought to look at that.

I have a plan though.  Tonight I am going to go get a bunch of meat and cook it so I can have it there along with veggies.  I am going to try and eat very clean this week and see what my sodium content looks like.  I need to make sure I am still getting my calories in too.  Not sure if it will have any effect on my weight but it's worth a shot.  From the research that I am seeing, it doesn't really make much difference from a weight loss perspective but I am going to challenge myself this week to see if I can.

5 Simple Ways to Become a Consistent Food & Fitness Tracker

I HAVE to track or I have no idea why I lost weight or gained it...and...I need to know.   So I can repeat it - good or bad.  I have also found My Fitness Pal very helpful.  I used to use the Daily Burn Tracker; however, just this week I decided to switch to MFP.  DB is much more limited than MFP is.  I ended up looking up foods on MFP anyway.  Also, I loved the simplicity of the DB Tracker but I was needing more in the way of interaction.  My Fitness Pal definitely gives you that in a variety of formats: Friends, groups and forums.  I brought many friends with me from my Diet Bet.  The fact that so many of the Diet-Betters use it was the final straw that made me switch.  So, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.  What works best for you?  Let me know in the comments.

Here's how to get started: 5 Simple Ways to Become a Consistent Food & Fitness Tracker

Stress and a healthy lifestyle

Sometimes the littlest things will make me tailspin.  I know when that happens that I am on stress overload.  That is not good for me or anyone else.  So how do I avoid this?  I really am asking.



For the most part, I try to put my head down and push forward.  I try to sleep not that it works very well with my mind going a mile a minute.  I intentionally watch what I eat since I am a well-documented emotional eater.  I exercise to take my mind off it.  But are these long term solutions?



In fact, I have even started to do yoga.  Never thought I would say that.  I am more of a dance the pounds off - jump around - lift weights kind of exerciser.  The thought that I could lay down and move slowly and still burn calories was kind of a strange thought for me.  I have found that I really enjoy it though.  That is when I can do it by myself.  My dog tends to like to help.  And by help I mean lick my face when I am in downward dog.  Very helpful and completely distracting.  Kind of hard to concentrate when there are random distractions.  But you do what you can right?



I used to smoke.  I thought that helped.  You know like the Snickers commercial - need a minute?  That's what I felt that smoking gave me - that minute to think about things and formulate a solution.  Considering I quit that unhealthy habit 3 years ago - I no longer have that minute.  My friend Scott used to take "pencil" breaks.  It was his version of a smoke break.  Maybe I will adopt that.  It worked for him.  Maybe it will work for me too.



Eventually everything works out and you can come out of the stress overload.  Although, it can take a while especially if you don't deal with it properly.  Some things are on cycles like money, family, work... I am always open to suggestions on ways around this so let me know what works for you.



Here's what Daily Burn had to say about it:

8 Signs You’re Way Too Stressed (and How to Relax)

Something to think about

I am part of the 6 month Transformer Diet Bet and we have a Facebook page for feedback.  It's awesome.  There is a lot of encouragement and a lot of interaction between the participants.  One thing that I have learned recently is that I may not be eating enough.  I was focusing on 1200 to 1400 calories except for carb day which would get me up to 1600 or so.  Of course on my free day it was a lot higher but it was supposed to be.  I am not finding out that I should be closer to 1600 to 1800 on low carb days.  Potentially even higher.  According to the calorie calculator that is going around the group - my Basal Metabolic Rate is 1621.  Which means that if I were in a coma and not active at all, that would be the calories needed to sustain myself.  If I did little to no activity, I need at least 1,556 and if I work out 3-5 days a week (which I usually do) I should be eating 2010 calories.  These numbers are based on the desire to lose weight at a safe and healthy pace of a pound a week.  That is a FAR cry from the 1200 to 1400 I was averaging.  I have decided to follow this and increase my calorie intake.  I am still doing the carb cycling I will just increase those targets to reflect it.  I have been doing it for the last few days.  I have gotten up to 1500 for the last 2 low carb days.  It seems like A LOT of food.  Rationally I know it's not but it sure seems like it right now.

Below is the info that I was reading from Weight Loss Problems.  Decide for yourself if it's helpful to you.  I think it's worth a try.  I know that I wouldn't be able to sustain 1,200 calories a day forever.  Especially since the smaller I get the more I active I get and I will need to make sure I continue to feed my body.  Anyway, here's what they had to say.

A lesson on BMR, creating a calorie deficit, and what the heck “NET” calories means

Okay, so every single human being and animal has something called a BMR. This stands for basal metabolic rate (some may call it resting metabolic rate). Your BMR is the amount of energy your body expends daily, simply at rest. We all know calories are just a unit of energy, so to equate our BMR, we calculate it in terms of calories. Basically, if you were to be in a coma, your BMR is how many calories your body would burn just laying on the ventilator. You do not have to expend any extra energy to burn those calories. 

So, what the heck is YOUR BMR and why do you have to eat that much? Well first, calculate your own BMR using this site. To help explain better, I will use my own BMR for an example. When using that site, I calculate my BMR out to be 1688.3 calories. This number is often lower than your true BMR, especially if you are a fairly active person. As you exercise more, your body burns calories (and provides you with energy) more effectively, so your metabolic rate increases. Now you want to multiply this number by how active you are. This will give you how many calories you should be eating every day to maintain your current weight. So if you’re just starting out on this journey and you have lived a fairly sedentarylifestyle until now (no exercise or sports, not working a job that requires being on your feet most of the day), then you will multiply your BMR by 1.2. If you are a lightly active person (you work a job that requires a lot of standing, you’re usually on your feet 1-3 days a week), then multiply your BMR by 1.375. If you are moderately active (you’ve been on this journey for awhile and tend to jog, bike, or use the elliptical 3-5 days a week) then you will multiply your BMR by 1.55. If you’re very active (you do hard exercise and/or sports 6-7 days a week consistently and have been doing so for awhile), you will multiply your BMR by 1.725. If you are an athlete(very hard exercise and/or sports every day as well as sports training; basically you never sit down and are working out 10+ hours a day), then you multiply your BMR by 1.9.

So, you can use the above equation to get your daily caloric needs, or some people, myself included, do not like to use that part of the equation because they use a tracker like myfitnesspal, which calculates the calories you burn in your workout every day for you. The most effective way to calculate your burn during your workout is to invest in a heart rate monitor. When your heart rate is elevated, you’re burning more calories. That’s how those machines at the gym determine how many calories you’re burning: they take the average person (155 pounds), and what their heart rate would be at the level, resistance, and speed you’re going at. So obviously, if you’re not 155 pounds, or if you’re going at a level that’s easier for you than someone who’s never worked out before, your heart rate is going to be different from the “average” that these machines provide. Take the number of calories burned according to the machine (or even according to myfitnesspal) as a close “guess-timation.” 

So let’s go back to my example of my BMR, 1688.3. We’re going to round it to 1690 to make it easier. In my daily workout, I often burn (according to myfitnesspal) around 600 calories. So let’s say today I went to the gym and burned that 600. If I wanted to maintain my current weight, then today I would need to eat 1690 + 600 = 2,290. Sounds like a lot of calories? That’s how much energy I need to keep my body healthy and active. If I don’t eat enough, then my body is going to find other ways to provide me with energy, like breaking down all of my muscle, lowering my metabolism so I don’t burn through my food so quickly, and making me weak to signal to my brain that I need more food. 

But I’m trying to lose weight! So what do I do if I want to lose weight? Healthy weight loss consists of losing 1-2 pounds per week. Slower, steady weight loss has been proven to show long-lasting results, less excess skin, and concrete, healthy habits. So how many calories do I need to burn to lose one pound of fat? 3500 calories is equal to one pound of fat. Here’s where it gets a bit tricky, so try to stay with me. Since there are 7 days in one week, we’re going to easily divide 3500 calories by 7. That gives us 500 calories. That means every day this week, I want to have an excess burn, or “deficit” of 500 calories. Let’s go back to my calorie consumption. I burned 600 calories today, so if I didn’t want to lose any weight, I would need to eat 2,290 calories. Since I’m trying to lose weight, I’m going to subtract 500 calories from my calorie goal of 2,290. That gives me a grand total of 1,790 calories. So for the entire day, my calorie consumption should equal out to 1,790 calories. To some, that may sound like a lot, but my body is working hard to provide me with energy, so I need to fuel it back up.

So what’s up with myfitnesspal only giving me 1200 calories? Myfitnesspal has to cater to thousands of people, so they set their baseline at a number that already creates the calorie deficit for you. Let me repeat that, if you did absolutely nothing the whole day and did not work out, the calories myfitnesspal gives you (1200) is what you NEED to eat just to sustain your body, AS WELL AS LOSE WEIGHT. For those of you who have a myfitnesspal account, click on the link labeled goals. It will take you to a page where it breaks down your calorie deficit for you. Here is a picture of mine:

According to myfitnesspal (again, guess-timations), my natural caloric burn every day is 2,180 calories. I set my baseline calorie consumption at 1300 calories. So even if I were to not work out and barely move the whole day, I would still create a 880 calorie deficit. If I eat exactly 1300 calories every day, without working out, it is projected that I will burn 6,160 calories in one week, which equals out to a 1.8 pound weight loss. This is why you need to eat back the calories you burn in exercise. BECAUSE FOR THE VAST MAJORITY, 1200 CALORIES IS THE BARE MINIMUM TO SUSTAIN YOUR BODY AND STILL LOSE WEIGHT AT THE SAME TIME. I encourage most of you to up your myfitnesspal calorie goal if you feel a NET calorie goal of 1200 is too low (to do so, go back to that Goals tab, and click the green “change goals” button. Then choose the custom button instead of guided, and it will let you input how many net calories you wish to consume). 

What happens if I don’t eat 1200 net calories every day? Your body is smart, and it will recognize that it’s not getting the fuel it needs. It will go into something called starvation mode, where your body wants to protect itself from starving and dying. It will break down your muscle, slow your metabolism, weaken your body, and eventually shut down your organs. Think of your body as a car; you can’t expect your car to move without fuel in it.

I know this seems like a lot to handle, but weight loss can be achieved if you fuel your body properly. If you find you’re eating your BMR with the deficit and you’re still not losing weight, go ahead and lower your calorie consumption by 100-200 a day. Every body is different and like I said, these are all guess-timations. As long as you don’t drop below 1200 net calories, you don’t need to worry about not eating enough. Eat well, eat enough, and exercise daily and you will see success.

(Source: weightlossproblems)

Everything in moderation

I read this on Fit and Feminist and had to share.  It is so accurate and I often worry about what my "health" life will look like when I am at my goal weight.  What does maintenance look like?  I tend to be black or white - I either go full throttle or I don't go.  So this was some valuable insight for me to consider.  Hopefully, it helps you too!

My Breakup with Exercise

In November, I met the amazing Ragen Chastain at a conference. She was the keynote speaker and blew the minds of college health professionals about Health at Every Size. During one of her talks she explained that many people are currently experiencing a “bad breakup with exercise.” That phrase was a gift to me – I finally have the  words to describe my fraught and complex relationship with exercise.

I was never an overly active kid. I loved to read, play with plastic dinosaurs, and find salamanders in the woods. I hated gym class. I did not like sports. Nor did I like hiking or cross-country skiing, my parents’ favorite activities. Once I hit puberty my body became soft and pudgy and my dislike of physical activity was no longer just a personality trait – it became a flaw. It became an indicator of my laziness and bad attitude, or at least, that’s how my parents seemed to interpret my spirited protests. I quickly understood that I was being forced to go hiking because I was fat. My mom encouraged me to go to the gym with her. I felt out of place there and embarrassed. My presence in this dark, smelly, scary adult space was punishment for being a fat and lazy kid.

I didn’t touch exercise again until my junior year of college. My university required everyone to take a certain number of gym credits and I signed up for a step aerobics class I had heard good things about. I loved it. The instructor was an athletic female coach who was all about strength and fitness, not about appearance. She wore a giant t-shirt and long, baggy gym shorts. I started coming to the gym a few times a week and doing the elliptical machine, crunches and pushups. I signed up for Pilates and a strength-building classes even though I had already fulfilled my Phys Ed requirements. It felt good. It was a happy time for me. I finally was developing some positive experiences with exercise.

In 2009, I moved to Boston to begin my first full-time job.I got myself a gym membership. I started doing Weight Watchers with a coworker, and religiously tracked every morsel I ate. I signed up for personal training. I went to the gym at least 5 times a week. My sessions at the gym now lasted about 2 hours. I would start with 15 minutes of cardio on the elliptical to warm up. Then I would do 30-45 minutes of strength training. Then I would do 45 mins-1 hour of cardio – rotating between the elliptical, stairmaster, and bike. Then I would stretch for 20 minutes. For a month or two, I added another 15 minutes of ab work each night before I went to bed. I turned down offers to go to dinner or evening events in order to go to the gym. I knew that I needed at least a 3-hour block of time to do my regular workout, shower, and change; there was simply not enough time to do anything else on a weeknight. I had no hobbies to speak of, besides working out. I did this for about a year.

Everyone thought I looked great. I lost 25 lbs and fit into size 8 pants for the first time since high school. For a brief period, you could actually see my ab muscles when I flexed. I could wear really short shorts. I ate mostly processed frozen dinners, raw vegetables, and Greek yogurt (no time to cook). I got compliments from friends, coworkers, and my family. Guys asked me for my number. My parents no longer chided me for my behavior; now they were asking me for tips. They soon signed up with personal trainers themselves.

I was down to 145 lbs, but I was convinced that I needed to get to 125. I believed that was considered “normal weight” or “healthy weight” for a woman of my height. I was excited and happy about the changes I felt and saw in the mirror, but I in no way considered myself “done.” I was in the best shape of my life, but I still thought I was fat. And according to my BMI, I was technically still “overweight.”

This too can be yours! Just eat hardly anything and exercise 2 hours a day for the rest of your life!

Then I started grad school. I was working full-time and taking a full course load at night. Suddenly, there was no time to go to the gym. I had night classes and homework. I still tried to go as often as I could, but if I wasn’t able to complete my full 2-hour workout, it felt like failure. A waste. Moderation was simply not in my vocabulary. My new body was slipping away.

Soon I become so mentally exhausted that I had no room left for tracking Weight Watchers points. I had no time to go grocery shopping. I started living off of cafe sandwiches, takeout, and Red Bull. My beloved trainer experienced some health problems and had to retire. The trainer assigned to replace him was a douchebro jock who kept talking about getting me a “hot bikini body” and I hated him. Eventually, I stopped going to the gym altogether. And, naturally, I started to gain weight. Like so many people, I ended up gaining more than I had lost.

Three years later, I am the heaviest I’ve been in my life. My parents have expressed their concern, and I have pushed back on their well-intentioned but incredibly painful statements with every ounce of spirit in my body; I will not feel like a worthless fat girl again. And no, exercise is not so simple as “Just do it.”

For most of 2013 I was sedentary. I had multiple false starts as I tried to “get back into the gym.”  Each time I returned, there was a new manager at the personal training company who would spot me on the elliptical and approach me, saying “Congratulations on taking the first step towards a better you!” or some bullshit like that.

I wanted to punch them every time. I am already a better me. I have hobbies now. I have friends. I have a life.

Then the manager would encourage me to try personal training because “beginners always need someone to show them how to do things properly.”

“FUCK YOU, I am NOT a beginner,” I would think.

“If you only knew me when…” And then my anger would dissolve into shame. I was embarrassed at failing so spectacularly.

But looking back on it now, I wonder how could I have done anything else but fail. My Biggest Loser-esque workout regime was extreme and unsustainable. Dieting was unsustainable. My abs were unsustainable. And no matter how thin or muscular I got, I always thought I was fat. I always needed to lose more. I was never not unhappy with my body. Losing weight did not improve my body image whatsoever.

In 2013 I vowed to stop dieting forever and began the long process of making peace with my body. Though I was making progress on the eating and body image fronts, I was still having a really hard time with exercise. Friends would say, “Couldn’t you just go to the gym for like 20 minutes? Couldn’t you just take the stairs? That’s better than nothing!” The thought of going to the gym for 20 minutes or taking the stairs was foreign and confusing. How could you do anything worthwhile in 20 minutes? I would never get my abs back by going to the gym for 20 minutes. I would never lose 40 lbs by taking the stairs. It became obvious that thinking of physical activity in moderate and sustainable terms was going to be extremely challenging for me.

I spent a lot of time thinking of ways to get active that would be fun and sustainable. I didn’t come up with any radical new ideas. There was yoga and hiking, which I have learned to like now that it isn’t mandatory and I can choose to do it on my own terms. But I haven’t found a yoga studio I like yet and hiking is difficult to do on a regular basis when you live in a northeastern city. I kept coming back to the gym – the first place I ever really enjoyed exercise.

But I was, as Ragen deftly stated, going through a bad breakup with the gym. The gym had ghosts of my thinner self in every mirror. The gym was full of people who would assume I had never worked out before. And I still never had enough time to do the kind of workouts I felt were necessary. “Do it right or don’t do it at all” would echo in the back of my head.

I took my time. I thought about things. I let myself get comfortable with tenants of Heath at Every Size. I practiced self-compassion. I forgave myself for “failing” and gaining weight. But most importantly, I worked on letting go of the idea that I could someday be 125 lbs or “get my abs back” or achieve the extreme physical transformation I did back in 2010. This has been, and continues to be, the hardest part. There is a very real sense of loss involved in abandoning the idealized, aspirational vision of yourself that’s been in your head since you were a teenager.

Then I agreed, for the first time in my life, to participate in a fundraiser stair climbing challenge. I knew this would force me to get back to the gym, and it did. The stair climb event is two days away, so last week I forced myself to return to the gym for the first time in many months.

Walking in the door was really hard. I could barely finish my first 20-minute cardio workout on the cross trainer. Five days later, I can do 30 minutes without too much difficulty. I think it’s amazing that my body can adjust back so quickly after so long. I am grateful for its strength and responsiveness. I suppress the faint urges to pull my scale out of storage.

This time, I’m trying to commit to realistic goals. 25 minutes. 30 minutes. Mostly cardio, with some Yoga Meltdown or free weights every now and then when I want to work on building strength. No more than 45 minutes per workout, 3-4 days a week.

Workouts that will help keep me active and give me the health benefits I’m looking for, but won’t consume me. Workouts I can squeeze into my busy life without having to sacrifice other hobbies or time with friends. Workouts that have absolutely nothingto do with losing weight or achieving a “hot bikini body.” Those are the kind of workouts I am aiming for now.

I’ll have to wait and see how it goes, but I’ve got a good feeling about this “moderation” thing. Maybe it could work for you too.

Size 14 and that’s okay.

Diet Bet: Complete!

Whew!  That was a close one!  I finally weighed in this morning and I was verified as losing 8.8 pounds in the 4 weeks!  Made it by a measly .3 pounds.  But I made it!  I earned it.  I am always a little cautious when I have to weigh on a day other than Sunday since midweek weigh-ins aren't usually a good thing for me.

I look forward to the next one.  I am going to do a 6 month one now so I can keep it going.  If you haven't already joined a diet bet, I HIGHLY recommend it.  Chris & Heidi Powell are doing another one starting March 11th called Spring Fling.  In addition, the 6 month one is The Transformer - I think that's the next one that I am doing.  The camaraderie is awesome.  Just that extra motivation - that person saying good job is enough to make you push forward.  I am a sucker for positive reinforcement!

I also like to be recognized and make money.  I think that's the other major draw.  I can be motivated to accomplish my goals and if I succeed I am rewarded.  Not just by my smaller size but monetarily as well.  It's a win win!

Hopefully, you are accomplishing your goals.  If you need a hand, let me know and I will do my best to help!